"I don’t know if i picked that circus but something told me that circus picked me." (Water for Elephants, 2011)

Movie: Water for Elephants

Rating: PG-13

Release Year: 2011

Notable Cast: Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz

Stars: 2

Review: Totally sub-par movie, in almost all respects. Where to begin? Robert Pattinson is a terrible actor. I am not a Twilight enthusiast but I did see the first movie and have briefly seen his media interactions, and I feel safe in making a generalization about Pattinson as an actor-- He is the Keanu Reeves of his generation. That is to say, he is a nonexpressive, blah actor who directors/writers seem to be trying to sell based only on looks and popularity as opposed to any amount of actual acting ability. He had very few lines in the movie and was generally vapid and expressionless with delivery. Reese Witherspoon, in stark contrast, is an exceptional actress but I continue to be disappointed in her poor choice of film roles. This movie was clearly below her abilities and worth as an actress. She played her role incredibly well, but that did not make up for the fact that her character was an unrealistic, foolish one and wholly uninteresting to watch.

Character construction and development was abysmal. I particularly had a problem with the so-called villain character. How he was portrayed by others and the narrator was not in keeping with his actions (e.g., letting Pattinson go, whereas everyone kept alluding to his thoughtless murdering of countless workers). I think he was meant to be a truly evil guy from whom the main characters were understandably trying to escape. You just didn't buy it from his dialogue and actions, though. I strongly dislike movies where you are told to believe something that is not demonstrated. To harken back to good ol' 9th grade English advice, "show not tell!" Shouldn't be too hard in a movie (as compared to a book), and yet this movie failed miserably.

Love story: Meh. It was just okay. No real chemistry.

After the long list of flaws, I must spend a few words in ardent praise of the incredible set and costumes. Very authentic and beautiful! Definite props there.

Good date movie? Yeah.